


Man's Best Friend

by dedleg



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-19
Updated: 2011-03-19
Packaged: 2017-10-17 02:51:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/172134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dedleg/pseuds/dedleg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve gets a puppy and finally gets his act together and gets together with a certain blond man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Man's Best Friend

At five-0 HQ:

Steve’s slumps onto a propped elbow on his desk mundanely clicking through each filed complaint, one after another; his cup of ‘giving a shit’ completely empty.

*Click* *Click* *glace at the clock* _Only seven hours and 38 minutes left._ *click* *click*

Steve, half lidded, fumes at the fact that even though he’s pretty sure he knows how to kill everything, he can’t make this day… just… die…

*Click* *Mind-numblingly-mundane Click*

He pauses and chuckles like an idiot at a particular picture of him dangling a midg- _wait Danno said to call them little people-_ little person above the ground by the ankle, who tries in vain to slash is jugular with his shank.  The quality of the picture was horrendous, an onlooker probably took it with their cell, and the report image was probably ripped straight from _the website._

The fact that the website _exists_ makes Steve laugh again. www.ShitMcGarrettGetsAwayWith.com When asked about it, Steve ducks his head bashfully, actually flattered that that he’s the islands little inside joke. People post pictures of Steve being, well _Steve_ , blowing things up, ignoring protocol, dangling midg- _little people_.

 “It’s whatever,” he remembers telling Danny, who has the uncanny ability to stab and kill whatever bit of fun Steve is having. But, as always, Danny did have a point and in his last interview Steve briefly mentioned to the posters on shitmcgarrettdoegetsawaywith that the crime scenes are an extremely dangerous place to be and should leave the proximity immediately- instead of posting some fucking _hilarious_ pictures of Steve being a-what did the kids on the web call him?-  a BAMF?

*glances back at the clock* It’s not even 9 yet. Steve bangs his head onto his desk. He needs sleep. _Now._ He’s dead tired and the _last_ thing he needs is a chipper “good morning” from his kill joy partner, Danny Danno Williams.

“You look like a zombie.” Danny laughs, for someone who wasn’t a morning person he was pretty bright today especially compared to Steve, “I thought it was the vampire look that was in, oh well.”

“Is there something you want to tell me? Or are you just going to try to find out how fast I can dismember a man with my bare hands?” Steve grunts.

“Uh.” Danny puts a contemplative finger to his lips, he can never tell if Steve’s joking because 1) he’s got the emotional depth of a boulder, and 2) Danny probably doesn’t want to know how fast Steve can actually ‘dismember a man with his bare hands’, “Um the first, we uh got some more complaints about the boat explosion.”

“Ah. The boat explosion. _Perfect,”_ Steve groans, “Great put it in the explosion pile.”

“Wait- You have piles for your different atrocities on the free human world?”

Steve didn’t want to add fuel to the fire, even though he _did_ have four neat stacks on his desk; civil/human rights infringements,  explosions, illegal search and seizure, and miscellaneous (in alphabetical order from left to right, of course).

“Just- ugh- here,” Steve points at the left most pile on his desk, “Right there, just. Put. It. Here.”

“Geez, I thought your Neanderthal kind invented language. You wake up on wrong side of the bed?” Danny flops the packet crooked onto the pile.

Irritably Steve straightens the explosions pile, “As a matter of fact, _Danno_ ,” Knowing full well that Danny hates it when Steve calls him that, “I didn’t sleep at _all._ There was this dog, it would _not_ shut up. I didn’t know where it was coming from but it had the loudest and most incessant bark.”

“Ah. The dog problem.” Danny says understandably, “Yea back in Jersey we had that all the time, Rachel hated the place so much ‘specially when she was pregnant.”

“You know how to fix it?” Steve looks up blood shot up at his short partner.

“Find the poor thing and put it out of his misery.” Danny says matter of factly.

*Aneurism face* “That’s sick Danny!”

“No! no no no. Not like that!” Danny apologizes, “No, I literally mean put it out of its misery, most of the yapping dogs around my apartment back then were in pain, like being abused or ignored. Find the dog, find out what’s killing ‘em and fix the wrong. Then quiet nights and undisturbed sleep for all.” Danny makes a welcoming smile and spreads his arms like a saint looking to the ceiling.

“Huh.” Steve’s too tired to stop himself from tracing the firm pecs stretching Danny’s tight (always so god damn tight) button down as he’s eagle spread, “I’ll try to find it later today. Just. Thanks for the paper work, enough of you, be gone.” And Steve returns to clicking, letting his eye drift and linger a bit on those sinful slacks stretching over Danny’s tight ass as he turns out the door.

=

At lunch the troupe sit down for sandwiches in the break room. Steve gets in a minute late and catches the last bit of the Kono’s giggly sentence,

“No seriously, the kids ‘round here are all doing it! Best. Drinking. Game. Ever. All ya’ gotta do is press the refresh button. If there’s a fire or an explosion in the background you take a shot, if he’s jumping off something it’s beer, and if his shirt is off then you do both-HEEEYYY BOSS!” Kono nearly drops a slice of tomato on her lap.

Steve grunts while grabbing a sandwich.

Danny fills the awkward silence in the room, “So. Apparently Steven didn’t sleep too well last night. So maybe he won’t jump off something, or burn a historical land mark, or _get me shot_ -“

“Not now Danny. Please. My head.” Steve rubs his temples with his fingers, “And you’re wrong Kono, it’s beer-fire, liquor-jumping off, and depending where you are on the island shirt off means you kiss the person on your right.” He stands up grabs two more sandwiches (hey he’s a big guy, and it doesn’t hurt that he took the last of Danny’s favorite out of spite) and goes back to the relative quiet of his office.

He hears Kono whisper, “Naw, I’m sure it’s the other way around, I’ll text you the link.” Steve rolls his eyes at Danny chuckles and paces faster back to his office.

After what seems like a million clicks, Steve stares in amazement that his mouse has yet to break down. He stretches his limbs in his chair and closes his eyes, _just a quick nap_. He’s about to doze off when Kono giggles from her desk. Steve cracks a watchful eye as her fingers blur on her phone and clicks send, barely able to contain her laughter.

Few seconds later he hears Danny yell from his office, “AW SICK!” Steve’s phone vibrates, “KONO! That’s disgusting!!!”

Kono peals in laughter; Danny stands up over his desk and slams his phone onto the glass pointing to it, “You know you mass sent it to all of the team right?” Smug as fuck pointing over to Steve’s desk.

Kono’s laughter stops cold. She bolts out of her desk, sprinting to Steve’s office. Now Steve’s really got to see what’s on his phone.

“NO!” Kono pants at the door, pointing a hand at Steve’s phone like a crazy woman.

“Or what?” Steve smirks and swipes his finger to unlock is phone.

Danny waltzes over to the door too, “Dude. Trust me. It’s quite unsettling.”

And this makes him tap in his pass code in with more meaning.

“What’s this?” Steve eyes the blue underlined link text from Kono which read www.shitmcgarrettgetsawaywith.com/nsfw/datass

“Please.” Kono gasps imploringly, but the damage’s already done, Steve’s already pressed his thick fingers on the hyperlink and watches safari pop up.

Steve’s jaw parts, “No…”

“Warned you,” Danny grins and the room’s silence is broken by a shutter sound, “Just needed to capture that moment, too good to pass.” Danny smirks down at his phone, “It’s not every day you see viral posts of your own nude ass online.”

Steve’s dumbfounded. He’s staring at his phone dwarfed in his large hands. He’d been surfing, the waves are rough, sometimes your trunks just, you know, _slip_.

He feels violated.

“I think you should run now.” Danny moves out of the way at the door and flourishes his hand for Konno to exit, who becomes a blur of dark hair as she runs out.

“No…” Steve repeats covering his face with the palm of his hand.

“Yup.” Danny curls up his lip in a mischievously smug smile.

“There’s… There’s a whole NSFW thread… Oh gawd. Nooo.. please not that time…No I was only out there for a second without my boxers cleaning up empties off the lanai. Oh my God.” Steve  buries his face into his arms.

“Yea, private beach property is a relative term to some.” Danny snickers.

“But- trespassing, federal offense-“

Danny breaks him off laughing, “Not so fun on the receiving end now is it?”

Steve glares up at Danny, Steve McGarrett is no one’s bitch, not even karma’s, “So you think this is funny?”

Danny holds his sides tight like he’s about to split in two, “Hell yea it is! Me and Kono are gonna get so shitfaced when we play ShitMcGarrettGetsAwayWith! You’ve got some fucked up creepy voyeurs on that thread though, you have been warned!” Danny leaves the room and whistles to chin Chin to delete Kono’s last text, and he obeys without the slightest hesitation.

 _Worst. Day. Ever._

Steve climbs into bed, on all fours, barely able to hold himself up. He closes his eyes for a fraction of a second till they break open again at the sound of barking.

 _You gotta be shittin’ me._

Steve rolls out of the bed and rummages around for his navy grade flashlight and makes sure that he is fully clothed and steps off the lanai onto the beach to find the dog, and _relieve him of his misery_.

He zones in on the barking, surprised how far it takes him down his beach, the very outskirts of it under the old broken pier over the rocks off his parent’s land. He doesn’t understand how a dog this far could possibly be heard all the way from his house till he shines the light under the pier.

The dog is fucking huge- impossibly huge. Its eyes flash bright in the light like a ghosts’ and lowers its bark down to a defensive growl. Steve sees that it’s been gnawing on a thick rope tied to a wooden beam. Steve catches glimpses of blood matting the gigantic German shepherd. He sees it rear a leg up close to its body and lower his head and ears and growls. Steve notices a deep gash going down the dog’s long leg, congealed blood only stopping half of the blood flow. Approching it with caution, Steve makes his presences known to the animal by gently talking to it.

“Hey buddy. I’m just going to untie you,” Steve approaches closer and sees its severely malnourished Its ribs show up in contrast in the bright light from his flash light, “Get you out of your misery.”

Steve slowly cranes his arm out to cut the rope binding the dog.

 _Shit the tide’s coming in, by the looks of the rope he’s probably seen it come in and out for at least three days._

Steve tries his best to loosen the knot but it’s crusted over and impossible to unravel. He reaches for his knife and the dog’s growling doubles in volume again.

‘Shhhh. Just going to cut,”

The first cut,

“You,”

Halfway through,

“Free.”

Snap.

All of a sudden the dog backs off and trips over itself and gets sucked into the tide rushing tide yelping in terror.

 _Shit._

Steve dives in and grabs the dog and surges sideways perpendicular to the rip tides till they’re on the beach again.

The dog wilts on its three good legs shivering. Steve reaches out to stroke it, but it tucks its enormous tail between its legs and whimpers away. Steve coaxes it back beside him and places a wet hand on its side and the trembling ceases.

“That’s a good boy. Let’s walk back to my house and-“ Steve’s hand brushes a tender spot near the dog’s rear and it snaps, teeth gnashing out, its lips reared back barring all his teeth in a booming growl.

“Woah boy, chill!” The dog takes quick bites out at Steve’s arm and then pounces on Steve, going for his exposed neck.

Steve ducks and rams into the dog’s chest and pins it to the sand and it lets out a whimpering yelp. He only applies enough pressure to keep the dog immobile and tries his best to calm it down. He whispers into its ears and strokes its salt crusted fur till its growling ceases looking up at Steve with big brown eyes. Steve releases the dog and helps it up, but it yelps again unable to lift itself back up.

Steve sighs and whispers coaxingly back at the dog, “Hey buddy, I’m going to put you over my shoulders so, just don’t freak out, ‘kay?”

The dog seems to understand and allows itself to be lifted and slung over Steve’s solid shoulders all the way back to his house.

He sets the dog down on the lanai, its shivers started to come back when Steve came back with a towel and some soap. Steve patiently hums reassurance while he tries to get his outside shower to warm up and whistles for the dog to come into the spray.

“C’mon big guy, let’s get you cleaned up.”

The dog warily enters the shower but its muscles ease once it feels the warms spray.

“Atta boy,” Steve continues to give soft low reassurances and praise, “Let’s get a good lather going.”

Steve rinses the grime, salt, and crusty residue the tide had coated the dog, avoiding the tender spot that seemed to be the dog’s trigger, just lightly redirecting the water’s spray over it with his hand to best clean the area. He towels off the dog with the largest towel he could find and it actually seems to smile and sags its long tongue out its mouth inviting the soft warm towel against his cold wet body.

Once its dry he opens the glass door to his house and walks in whistling for the gigantic dog to come in.

“C’mon doggy, let’s go.” Steve gets down on his knees and reaches for some of his left over steak and lures the dog in, “C’mon let’s get you nice and fed before we go to bed.”

The dog lowers his ears to the sides and droops sad worried eyes.

“It’s gonna be ok, see? It’s just some steak.” Steve reassures the dog and takes a bite himself, “Mmm, pretty good stuff I might add.” And rubs his stomach to try to prove his point.

The dog sets a foot into the door, then quickly steps back out whining. Steve waits patiently as he repeats his entry and retreat over five times before he finally comes in and lies down nose in his paws looking terrified up at Steve.

 _Whatever has been done to this dog must have been pretty traumatic._

Steve lowers himself again to the enormous German shepherd and rewards him with a strip of steak and reaches back to get a second strip to see the first one is already gone, the dog licking its lips.

“Oh, you’re a hungry one aren’t you?” He dangles out another strip playfully and is rewarded with a booming happy bark that shakes the house.

 _Yea, if he starts that I’ll never be able to sleep._

He places the strip on the dog’s nose and watches it devour the meat with a smile and reaches for more. He continues feeding him till the meat’s all gone and Steve could see the dog’s eyes start to film over in sleepiness.

 _Poor guy probably hasn’t had a good night’s sleep in weeks out there._

He stands up and the dog stands up and limps over to follow Steve lifting up its injured leg walking on three good legs, reminding Steve that he has to do something about that busted leg.

“Sit.” Steve instructs and is taken back at the dog’s immediate obedience when it parts it right there on the floor, ears perked up and eyes bright, “Good boy!” Steve praises and has his ears shattered again with another booming bark.

“Just wait here for a little while okay?”

Steve walks back and quizzically trying to pinpoint where a thumping sound was coming from and realizes it’s the dog’s huge tail slapping onto the hard wood floor in excitement.

He sits down next to the dog, almost matching up with Steve’s sitting height and sets a nylon first aid kit between them.

Immediately the dog’s posture changes, its tail tucks close to its body, and starts whining shrilly. Steve, never missing a beat, reassures the dog again and reaches out his hand motioning for the dog’s injured leg it was curling up to its body.

“Good boy!” Steve praises when it finally extends its paw into Steve’s large warm hand, “Ok buddy? This might sting a little but it’s to make it all get better ok?”

The dog yelps at the disinfectant and starts to jerk backwards betrayed but Steve reassured it lovingly and quickly added some ointment and bandaged in record speed. Steve quickly stood up and ran back upstairs for a thick blanket and laid it out on the floor besides the dog, throwing a few old cushions around it before inviting the dog to lie down next to him.

Limping over, it finally makes it across the room and lays down a foot away from Steve’s body. Steve knows that was the most the dog would trust him and reaches out slowly and starts to stroke the dog’s long back with his hand, again making sure to navigate around its sensitive spot near its tail to the right. He finally feels the dog’s breathing relax and he tries to get up, but it just wakes up and whines in the darkness. Giving up on making it back to his bed Steve leans up against the couch and tries to make himself comfortable and get some shut eye himself.

Steve has another embarrassing dream, one in which he’s naked on the beach and Danny surprises him from behind and tackles him into the sand. Now all hot and bothered, really wishing Danny wasn’t there because he’s pretty sure that you could see his rock hard boner in the surf from space, but Danny’s got him pinned down hard and looks him right in the eyes, blue eyes shooting electric sparks through the air and reaches down pressing his warm wet lips onto-

Steve really feels something wet across his face and snaps awake and the dog continues happily licking Steve’s face off.

“Oh gross!”

Steve’s overslept. He starts to freak out until he realizes its Saturday. After relaxing, Steve chuckles trying to gently push off the mountain of dog trying to drown him.

Steve hopes the dog is less afraid of him and gets up to make breakfast. The dog follows curiously into the kitchen as Steve quickly chops up a few veggies and steak while scrambling a few eggs. The dog starts whining again, “Gosh, I bet you eat just as much as me, if not more.” Steve adds a whole new batch of steak into the pan letting the sizzling sound fill the house.

Steve sets down a plate of meat and slides a few cooked carrots and celery on top, the dog tilts his head quizzically at the orange and green chunks mixed in with the familiar brown.

“Finish all your veggies.” Steve commands and with that the dog devours the meal happily.

Finishing his food as well, Steve gets dressed (well, island attire dressed) and starts wondering more about who might own this dog, and more importantly how to bring the dog justice for its terrible treatment.

“Hello? This is Lieutenant Commander McGarrett, I’m calling to report a missing dog, a large German Shepherd, yes very large.”

-

“Lieutenant Commander McGarrett, Five-0 reporting a missing Dog, German Shepherd, north side beach.”

-

“Lieutenant Commander McGarrett here, yes five-0, calling in about a missing dog, German Shepherded well over a hundred pounds. Hold? Yes I’ll hold.”

-

“Commander McGarret again, nothing on the dog? Ok thank you very much.”

-

“Lieutenant Commander McGarrett, five-0… Yes.. Yes the one from the website, no. No I will not sign your- listen I’ve got a dog here that’s been beaten and probably starved found him on the north shore near my house…”

-

Steve sighs as he sees the afternoon sun start its dip back into the horizon, he’s called all the dog shelters, asked everyone if they’d had requests from owners looking for a gigantic German Shepherd, but nothing.

“Well? I think it’s just going to be you and me-“ A sharp knock on the door stops Steve from finishing his sentence.

“Steve! Open up! You’re late! You didn’t even pick me up to get Grace!”

“Oh shit.” Steve’s completely forgotten about the planned zoo visit with Danny and his daughter.

The dog starts booming again and Steve has to pry the door open just a crack to make sure it doesn’t kill anyone. A fiery blue eye glares at him from the crack and shoves the door open bringing back embarrassing memories of his dream earlier today. Danny ignores Steve’s warning about a dog and finally freezes looking down (well not that much down because Danny’s not the tallest guy, and the dogs almost the same height as Steve sitting down so you can just do the math).

“Wow. That is one big puppy.”

“PUPPY?!” Grace screams and shoves into view under both Steve and Danny.

Before either of them can scream for Grace to back away from being torn to shreds, Grace screams in delight as the dog showers her with affectionate kisses, slobbering her whole face with drool.

“Huh, I guess he’s not afraid of children.”

“You… have some explaining to do. We had a planned zoo day and it turns your making your own little zoo in here? Complete with mutant giant dogs?” Danny keeps a wary eye on Grace who’s squealing as the dog playfully darts back and forth playing with her.

“Um. Remember that thing you said ‘bout taking it out of its misery? Well it was tied up to the dock near the end of the beach and well it just looked so sad. And it was really hurt, and he was all by himself-“

“How are you above the age of thirty.” Danny palms his face.

“Do you think we can go to the vet?”

“The vet? Wait, you haven’t taken it to the- Grace!” Danny shouts, “Get away from that dog, _now!_ ”

The whole house gets dead silent and the dog tries to hide behind Grace’s small body.

“What’s wrong with the dog Danno! He’s so nice!”

“Grace. Please, come to Danno right now.” Danny turns to Steve, “Yea were going to go to the vet. Why the _hell_  would you let my daughter around a dog who could have all sorts of _shit_ swarming around it?!”

“Danno! Cursing!” Grace warns.

“Sorry honey, Daddy’s really upset that Steve threatened all of our health!”

Steve acts hurt, “C’mon Danny, I’m fine and I’ve been with it all last night!”

“Then get a room. Get a room at the vet actually. We’re all going, we’re all going to get tested for rabies, No I am completely _serious_ Steve. It’s not a joke. A friend of mine growing up took in a stray and died of it, by the time you see symptoms it’s too late, you’re as good as gone.”

Steve chose just to shut up and load into the Camaro, the dog in the back, Steve driving, and Grace buckled into Danny’s lap in the passenger seat.

The veterinarian was a young attractive woman and raised all sorts of eyebrows as she flutters in the room.

“So folks,” She cheeps, “What can I do you for?”

“My partner,” Danny rolls his eyes at her reaction, “We’re cops, thank you for professionalism doctor, has taken in this...” hand flapping over to the huge dog sitting happily in between Steve and Danny, “Monster of a pup and hasn’t had the right mind to get it examined before it potentially contaminates my one _and only_ offspring.” He glares at Steve on the last few words.

Steve now rolls his eyes and starts, “Oh, come on Danny! He looks just fine! I feel perfectly-“

The young veterinarian cuts in cold, “This is not a funny matter at all, Mr. McGarrrett,” She reads off his name from her clipboard and pauses for a millisecond in thought, “This dog could have serious things swimming around in it, and children, _especially_ children are susceptible to contamination. I am going to run some preliminary tests on the dog,” She goes a little wide eyed looking up and down the monstrously huge animal, “and give you all a round of precautionary shots.”

Danny turns around so fast when the vet exits half dragging the skittish dog out the room. Danny stabs a finger at Steve’s chest and pushes up into Steve’s personal space in the exact opposite way Steve wants him to, “If I hear that Grace has so much as a _single_ flea bite, I. Will. End. You.” Danny pokes right in-between Steve’s chest muscles hitting hard bone, knowing full well it was Steve’s pet peeve, “I _know_ people, and they aren’t the upstanding military or government officers like your little pals.”

Steve gulps a little and before he can even begin to apologize the vet comes back in slightly out of breath, “Wow… That was a big dog.” She straightens her hair and lays out packets of sanitized vaccinations and anit-mah-what-its onto the room table with her back facing the dysfunctional partners silently bickering.

“Okay, who’s first?” She turns around playing eeny miney mo with her fingers playfully.

“Her,” Danny points down at her daughter, “She gets it first.”

Steve commends Graces bravery as she stands up and walks solemnly over and exposes her right arm.

“Wow you aren’t you a brave little girl.” The vet muses and checks a box on her forms and reaches for the child needle.

“You can take the girl out of Jersey,” Grace squirms a smile back at her beaming father who wouldn’t trade his daughter for the manliest, macho-man son any day.

After a quick and clean vaccination the vet asks, “Would you like a sticker for being such brave little girl?”

Grace politely declines, “No thank you ma’am, but I think Steve might need one, he hates needles.”

It’s true, Steve hates needles, he never really got over them and rarely needed them, he praises the powers at be for giving him such a bitchin’ immune system.

Danny goes through his shots without a fuss and smirks over at Steve, “My own daughter’s got more balls than you, I can now die happy. C’mon you oversized toddler, your turn.”

“Fine.” Steve grudgingly strides over to the paper wrapped death table thing and starts rolling up his sleeve.

“Um, I’m sorry Mr. McGarrett, you have been exposed to the dog for the longest time and need a stronger dosage.”

Steve’s got confused face #4 and a mix of ‘shitshitshit’ #2 and freezes mouth open.

“I’m,” She starts blushing, “Going to have to ask you to drop your pants so I can administer this shot into your.” She makes a twirling hand gesture around Steve’s butt to fill in the blanks.

“No.” Steve gasps in unbelief.

Danny snickers covering Grace’s eyes with his hands, “C’mon, you heard the doc! It’s not like half the island hasn’t seen it already since it hit the website.”

The vet gives a surprised giggle, “So you _are_ the guy from shitmcgarrett-“

“Language!” Gracie stomps her foot down, still blindfolded by her father’s hands, she doesn’t need to be exposed to that part of the male anatomy until she’s… _Well until she’s married,_ Danny puts his foot down on that issue.

“Yes. Yes. The website. Just can we get on with it?” Never to take long before following orders, Steve dutifully drops his pants and undergarment and exposes his carved ass.

Danny won’t ever admit it, but his eyes wander a little too much, border line ogles, his partner’s taught naked ass.

“Thank you.” The vet answers, but the probably had a double meaning thrown in because she’s transfixed right along at Danny at the marvel that is Steven McGarrett’s perfectly sculpted butt.

Steve unintentionally clenches when he feels the need stab his rear side muscle, the contrasting crevices playing shadow games in the light and makes the vet giggle a little at the tight muscle spasm.

Danny can almost hear Steve’s eyes rolling when he zips his cargo pants back up. The vet rushes out of the room, obviously blushing to fetch the dog’s paperwork.

“That was-“ Danny quips.

“-Shut it Danno.”

“You call him that too?” Grace asks ecstatically.

“Only to annoy me honey, he never means it like you do.” Danny pats Grace’s head and rubs her cheek with a finger.

“What part of endearment do you not understand Danny?” Steve interjects hurt that Danny would ever doubt his genuineness.

“What part of endearment do **_you_ ** not understand? I bet you think the word probably means getting my ass-“ Grace grumbles, “-patooty shot every other day? Don’t you roll your eyes, you know I would be a whole lot healthier if you just follow a little procedure for once.”

“Don’t start on that now, it’s our god dam-dang (Sorry Gracie) day off.”

The whole room shakes with booming barks. The vet is dragged back into the room as the German Shepherd part t-rex dashes back to Grace’s side licking her face jubilantly making her squeal.

“S-Steve! Get him off!” She screams laughing.

“Sit!” The dog parks it hard and tilts his head questioningly.

“He seems to be extremely obedient,” The vet just tries to get three fourths of her hair somewhere behind her head before reading off the clipboard.

“He’s all clean, extremely malnourished, but he seems to already be healing at an extremely fast rate, he’ll fill out back to from his skeletal thinness if you feed him right.”

“Wait… He gets bigger?” Danny’s really doesn’t want to deal with a threat of even a dog being taller than him.

“Well, he’ll just stop looking like a stick if that answers your question. He’s all clean, but the shots I gave you still will cover all the bases just in case, and if that’s all for today then the nurse will see you four out.”

Steve gets into the driver’s seat again (figures), and after much begging Danny allows Grace to sit in the back with the dog, “Uncle Steve?”

“Call him Steve honey, I refuse to be related with him, scratch that call him any of the words I don’t let you say at home.”

“Yes Grace?” Steve ignores Danny.

“Are you going to keep him?”

Danny answers for Steve, “No. Of course not.”

“Bu-“ Steve interjects taking his eyes off the road.

“Drive Duffus! No, sweetie we have to give him back to his old owners, they probably miss him.”

Steve skips out on explaining the cruelty he’d found the poor dog not to upset Grace, “Yea, I called around all day reporting him. ‘s sad cuz I think we’ve bonded.” Steve grins.

“Bonded.” Danny groans, “Of course, Neanderthals were the first to domesticate dogs, of course. You should work on your people skills instead of you dog skills.”

“I have perfectly fine people skills!” Steve interjects.

“Really now? You wanna see a good counter argument?” To Steve’s utter surprise and delight Danny starts unbutton his shirt and peels out half his upper body and turns to face Steve, exposing a heavily muscled chest lightly haired with gold, “See this? That my friend is a bullet wound all courtesy of your ‘perfectly fine people skills’!” All too quickly does Danny clothe himself before Steve has to rip his eyes back away lest he run into traffic or reveal how bad he has it for his partner.

“Anyways,” Steve fumbles to change the topic, still very hot and bothered from the impromptu strip tease, “Beer at my house?”

“Sorry man, have to drop Grace off in- wait this is still my car right?- yes in my car, back at her mom’s.” He looks back and see’s Grace asleep arms flung around the dog dwarfing her and raises his eyebrows looking back up at Danny.

“After that?” Steve questions.

“Plans.” Danny readjusts into his seat and looks straight forward.

“Plans?” Steve raises his eyebrows curiously and a little crestfallen that Danny wouldn’t be in his company this weekend.

“Yes Steven. I have plans. Okay, enough about my private affairs, here’s your house, take your living flea circus and get out of my car!”

Steve frowns at the mentioning of Danny’s private life, because it’s just that, private. Meaning, _not involving Steve._

“Okay, I’ll just go out for a run.” Steve slides out the car door and extracts the dinosaur in Grace’s lap without waking her and waves goodbye to the Williams.

“Okay big guy, just don’t blow anything up.” And zips off out of the driveway.

=

Steve needs to clear his mind, needs to cool down, he’s never seen Danny without his shirt and that image is still burning hot on his retinas.

Steve gets on running shorts and a cut off muscle shirt and stretches in the living room. The dog is skittish and over actively jumping up and down when Steve realizes the dog hasn’t been walked in probably weeks.

Steve looks down at the new bandage around the dog’s foot and sighs, _So much for going for a run._

”Wanna go for a walk boy?” Steve asks energetically while using the leash the vet gave him and links it to the dog’s collar when his phone beeps.

“Yes this is Lieutenant Commander-“ *WOOF WOOF* “I’m sorry, I-said this is Lieutant Commander-“ *WOOF WOOF* “Okay can you hold for a minute?”

“Here buddy go fetch!” Steve chucks newspaper into the other room, the dog bounds after it, “Yes I reported the missing dog. Yes extremely large, german shepherd, no tags, no collar. What does he respond to?” Steve never thought to give it a name let alone try to figure it out, “I have no clue. Thank you for the update, I will call you once I find out more.”

Steve ponders on a name as _it_ bounds back into the room, slobbering all over the old newspaper and thumping its tail hard on the wood floor as Steve grabbed the leash and opened the door.

Walking down the drive he flips through a few common dog names to see if anything sticks, “Fiddo?”

Nothing but an curious eyebrow raise, “Spot? No you don’t have any to begin with.”

Steve rubs his head and tries to think of more normal pet names, but it’s hard when you’re Steve-who’s allergic to normal, scratch that normal is allergic _to_ Steve.

He stops and tries a long shot, “Lieutenant Commander?” The dog hops up and down hollering and woofing loudly getting down on its front two paws ready to play, “Huh.” Steve ruffles Lieutenant Commander behind the ears and walks into town.

“Hey man! Howzit Mcgarrett? What dah shit you gonna do next, hauh?” The store keeper bows curtly when the local celebrity walks in, “What can I do you for bradah?”

“Aloha,” Steve smiles and whistles for Commander to stop trying to bark at car so he doesn’t shatter the store’s windows, “I’m going to need some dog food.”

“Right over dere man!” He points over at the pet aisle and shaka signs Steve who sends one straight back.

Steve hauls a good forty pounds of food onto the counter and fishes out his wallet.

“Naw man, ‘s free of charge.” The clerk waves Steve’s cash away.

“Naw man, let me pay.”

“ ‘s cool bra, you good for business, plus you be bringin’ in all dah bunny’s” He winks over at the gaggle of busty bikini clad girls flocking behind the aisle quickly pretending to browse around. Steve shivers a little remembering a certain thread of him online and _really_ wishes he didn’t wear his cut offs today.

“Maholo man, aloha bra.” Steve says over his shoulder trying to balance the monster dragging him forward and its dinner from ripping through the heavy duty paper bag it’s in.

“Whoa ‘mmander, where you think you’re going?!” Steve has to jerk hard on the leash to stop the Lieutenant from jump into a busy intersection, for fear of the cars really because this dog was like a tank. Once the little green man blinks on Steve slacks the leash and starts walking-big mistake. Lieutenant Commander sprints across the street and starts barking like crazy at that new fancy restaurant that just opened up.

“Lieutenant Commander!” Steve barks himself, “Calm down, sit! Heel!” The dog obeys whiningly.

“You wanna tell me what the hell was that?” Steve grunts at the dog trying to rearrange the dog food in the bag he’s holding. Steve hears a familiar voice over from the café seating, it’s _Danny’s._

Steve stands up and his dog starts yipping, quieter this time, for Danny’s attention. Danny looks… looks _good._ He’s in a sharp looking white button down Steve’s never seen before, and an equally new rose tinged tie softly accenting his charming features. Steve would never believe it ‘til he saw it for himself, but Danny Williams cleans up nice- if that were even possible. Before he can snap out of it a waiter touches him on the wrist, which everyone on the planet should know never to startle Steve-fucking-McGarrett, throws a kill stare right at the poor waiter.

“S-Sir, could you please control your dog? I think he might be disturbing our patrons.”

Steve opens his eyes wider in understanding, he’d completely blocked out how loud Lieutenant Commander was booming until the waiter pointed it out. “Heel!” Steve grunts and silence returns and the diners return to their quiet conversations.

Steve returns his gaze back at Danny radiating charm, sharing a bottle of wine with someone across the table, laughing at the right time, not a single hair out of place, face clean shaved _. Who was he with? Was he actually on a date? This was “plans”?_ People shift around a little and he can vaguely make out the silhouette of the person sitting across from Danny, and it surprisingly isn’t that feminine.

“Um, sorry to bother you again,” the waiter still hasn’t left even though Commander was quiet as a mouse, “Sorry, it’s just I was wondering if you happened to be Steven Mc-“

“Yes I am.” Steve knows where this is going.

“The one on the-“

*Face Palm* “Yes the _website_.” Steve groans.

“Do you mind?” Steve sees a napkin and a pen shoved into his personal space, “My boyfriend, he’d kill for a signature.”

Steve grudgingly signs the napkin and the waiter basically skips back to his booth nodding in confirmation to the diners he passes and pointing at Steve.

Steve tries to retreat but his bag finally rips and the dog food bags spill down to the ground with a thud.

A woman on the edge of the café speaks over the white fence, “Steven McGarrett!” She’s slurring a little too much from wine, “I don’t give a _flying_ fuck what others say, you get those bad guys, and blow up the whole island if you have to!” Another table across whoops with complimentary fist pumping. Steve kindly thanks them and doubles his effort to gather the bags of food. The dog starts barking at all the excitement. Steve throws a worried look over at Danny’s table and his stomach turns when Danny looks over to see what the fuss is all about.

Steve curses under his breath when Danny makes eye contanct, rolls them, and from Steve’s lip reading makes out the words, “Oh-my-Gawd.---You gotta be kiddin’ me.” He’s been made, he’s fucked, found out, and shit in trouble.

Steve tries his best to grab the bags but he keeps dropping them and the dog is going nuts-Danny’s coming leaning into his date who is actually a dude-drops another bag-“Can you give me a minute?” Steve lip reads- Lieutenant Commander jerks on the leash, Danny’s date nods and points the bathroom and gets up with Danny before they part ways-Danny’s coming closer- just one more bag.

“What. The hell.” Steve’s looking down at Danny’s best pair of shoes, “Are you. Doing. Here.” Danny’s got that vein sticking out around his temple, which Steve would find extremely hot on any other occasion and tastes a little bile in the back of his mouth.

“Um, the dog,” Steve gets to his feet drops all the bags, “Took him for a walk, got food from the store, Lieutenant Commander got a little crazy and dragged me here, he must have smelt you.”

“Lieutenant Commander?” Danny crosses his arms angrily, again would be a whole lot sexier if Danny wasn’t going to kill him in a few seconds. Responding to his name, the dog throws himself onto Danny licking his face and messing up his hair, “GET HIM OFF!”

“Heel ‘mmander!” swift obedience. “Sorry, I’ve been answering the phone as that all day, I guess he thinks it’s his name now, it’s all he responds to now.”

“Shit my tie! Grace just gave me this from the house! God Damnit!” Danny tries his best to smooth out his tie and fix his hair.

“Are you on a date or something?”

“Yes, I am in fact on a _fucking_ date, Steven.” Danny slicks his hair back but a rogue strand makes another vain jump for freedom, “Goddamn it all.”

“But you dressed up.” Steve says trying to mask all jealously as it slipped out.

“Yes. Us homosapiens sapiens try to look nice on dates, Steven. How’s the hair?” Danny turns his head side to side.

“Good.” Steve mutters affectionately, unsafely affectionate, “Wait, was that Twitchy Timmy from accounting?”

“Twitchy Timmy- What? His name is Timothy Smith.” Danny’s glare goes murderous, “Where the hell did the twitchy come from?”

“He- He twitches whenever I say hi.”

“Steve,” Danny sighs, “You make serial murderers twitch and pee themselves. If I hear you have been bugging Tim, I swear to God. Now shoo, go away, I don’t wanna screw up this second date.”

 _Second?!!?! WITH HIM?!?!_ Steve takes a step back and reassesses the situation, like the universe is playing some sick joke on him. Telling Steve that both he and his partner play for the same team ‘cept he’s not single. Cue aneurism face.

Before he can stop himself Steve opens his dumb mouth, “You didn’t tell me you were gay.”

“Bi,” Danny corrects angrily, “Oh, no you don’t!” Danny stabs a finger at Steve angrily.

“Don’t what?” Steve says defensively.

“Don’t pull this homophobe _shit_ on me!” Danny stabs a finger in, hitting the breast plate hard, “I swear to GOD I will sign those resignation forms just _waiting_ in my desk faster than you can say _Book’em Danno_.”

“Wait what? Resig-Homophobe?! I’m not a homophobe!” His dog starts barking again.

“Lieutenant Commander!” Danny raises his voice, “BOTH OF YOU! SHUT UP!” Danny slaps a palm to his face.

Steve sees he’s officially over stepped his boundaries and starts apologizing, “Look I’m sorry Danny,” cue worst thing to say in 3…2…1…”It’s just you could do a lot better than _Tim_.”

‘ _Better’ being the man standing two feet right in front of him!_

“Don’t turn this out on him!” Danny glares, “I didn’t as much raise a flipping eyebrow with you and Catharine Titty-banks, yeah I can make nick names just as well _asshole_ , and now you’re just going to going off on my date?”

“Look Danny,” Failing to try to switch the topic to a better one, “why didn’t you just tell me you were bi?”

“Wha-?! What the fucking fuck?” Danny’s turning red, “What’s in my private life is exactly what it is, _private._ ”

That’s exactly it, Steve hates the fact that it’s ‘ _private’_ and would literally kill people to be the center of it; Steve knows he’s a selfish guy, he’d never share Danny with _anyone_ (‘cept maybe Grace).

“It still hurts that you didn’t even tell me, like you didn’t trust me.”

They both know that they’re causing a scene and Danny tones it back down.

“Of course, _you,_ ” Danny seethes under his breath, “Would find a way of making a date, which has nothing to _do_ with you, have to be all _about_ _you._ ”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Steve grunts defensively.

“Nothing. God. I swear to God Steve if you don’t beat it before he gets back out of the bathroom,” Danny pauses to check behind him, “I will kill you, resurrect you, and kill you again. And _resign_.”

Steve finally gives up and tables the conversation, “Fine, we’ll go. But we aren’t done talking about this.”

Danny sees his date sit back down at their table and waves at him to tell him he’ll be right there and turns back dead serious and furious, “ _Yes. We. Are._ ”

=

“Thanks for walking me to the door, Danny”

“Always a gentleman, Tim. Again I am so sorry about Steve *Tim twitches*, promise it won’t happen again” Danny smiles, “So, same time next week still good for you?”

An awkward pause.

“Listen-,” Danny already knows something’s going to go down, “About that. I think we should stop seeing each other.”

“Wait what?”

“I just don’t think it’s going to work out. I never date right after a big break up, but I don’t know.” Tim mixes a grin with a frown,  “When you asked me I would have shot myself in the foot for letting the opportunity fly by.”

 _Wait. New all-time low, not only did Steve ruin his date, Twitchy Timmy is breaking up with **him**_ **.**

“Then what’s wrong?”

“I… I just don’t think it would work out.” Tim bites his lip, “I’m and accountant, and you’re… You’re a freaking Five-0 super hero. I’m still not over my ex, and I don’t know what you see in this either. Plus we both know you’re way out of my league.” He chuckles.

“Wait, what are you talking about!?” Danny starts getting concerned, “What do you mean league? This isn’t baseball or some sick game, did you over hear what Steve said? Is this what it’s all about? Listen, Tim, _God I’m going to murder him_ , ignore Steve, he’s an idiot. Just-“

“This isn’t about Steve *Twitch* it’s about me, can’t believe that I’d ever get to say this let alone to _you_ , about me using you as a rebound.”

“Oh.”

“Plus. I think you have your own stuff to get in order.”

“Hmm?”

“Seriously?” Tim raises an eyebrow, “You can’t tell? Wow, if they let cops like you get a badge with your deductive skills, I bet they’re all dropping like flies.” He laughs.

“What?”

“Figure it out, you’ve already said his name twice.” Tim smiles politely and retreats back into his apartment.

=

Steve’s glad that Lieutenant Commander really lives up to his naval rank and has an endless supply of energy, because Steve can peg this tennis ball meters out into the surf all day.

 _He could do **so**_ _much better. Could’ve been- couldn’t keep your fucking mouth shut, McGarrett._

*WOOF WOOF* “Go fetch the ball Lieutenant.” And pegs the ball hard back into the surf and the tank of a dog bounds after it.

 _Shouldn’t just left him alone. Now he hates you. **Great**_.

=

“Hello?”

“Hey it’s me.”

Danny grunts, “Yes. It’s you, what do you want, _asshole?”_ Steve hears in the background ‘ _Danno!’_ “Sorry baby. What do you want butt hole?”

“Um. I’m stuck.”

“Oh, no little Steven’s stuck down the well!”

“No, seriously, I was on the way to the vet because Lieutenant Commander’s back side still hasn’t healed up you know that one spot where he goes shit crazy if you touch? I took the merc and it broke down halfway there. Can you pick me up?”

“No. You are stupid enough to take that trash heap you call a car and knew all too well that it’d do that to you. Let you _down_.” They both know Danny’s not talking about the car anymore.

“Listen Danny, I really want to talk abou-“

“I said we weren’t going there.”

“No. Well I mean yes, I do want to go there, but I want to just apologize. Danny this isn’t how I want to do this. Could you please pick me up?”

“No way, do you know how much dog hair he got on the back seat last time we went to the vet? You could have just taken your truck Steve,” Danny spits, “You could fit like fifty of him in the back.”

“That’s the thing, he went ballistic when I tried putting him back there, he wouldn’t get it and thrashed around so much that the wound I was talkin’ ‘bout opened up and started bleeding again.”

Danny rolls his eyes and Grace screams at the mentioning that the dog could be hurt, “Fine. Is he still bleeding?”

“No I bandaged it up, but it still looks bad.”

“Fine. _Fine._ Where are you?”

=

“So what is the verdict?” Danny goes to pick up both Naval Nutheads at the vet after dropping off Grace at her mother’s, but sees only sees human-Lt. Commander.

“Not good.” Steve looks legitimately sad, and damn it all if Danny can’t stay mad at sad child, even when the child is three heads taller than himself and happens to be your employer.

“Where’s Scooby-Doo?”

“At the precinct,”

“At the- at the where?”

“Drugs Danny,” Steve’s voice goes dark, “Someone stuck _drugs_ _inside_ him and stitched him back up. Trying to smuggle in kilos of cocaine.”

“That’s-“

“Disgusting.” Danny knows all too well Steve’s utter revulsion when it came to abusing the innocent and helpless.

“You gonna get in?”

“Oh. Yea.” Steve opens the passenger door and Danny know’s something must be getting to the guy, he doesn’t even want to drive, “Thanks again for the lift back.”

“He’ll be fine. I’m sure Blues Clues is having a wonderful time meeting the other dogs they have at the precinct.”

“…” Steve look straight forward, “I’m sorry.”

“Excuse me?”

“Look, I’m really really sorry that I ruined your date with Twi- I mean Timothy.”

“Naw, it’s ok.” Danny brushes it off way to quickly.

“Wait did something happen?”

“ ‘s nothing, where we off to your house?”

“No really. If I screwed something up let me make it up.”

“I _said_ it was nothing.” Anger creeps back into Danny’s voice, of course Steve would try to fix everything.

“Look, I just wanted you to be happy, ‘just have bad ways of showin’ it.” Steve looks down at his hands sheepishly.

“I know you do, big guy. But I think I can manage myself thank you, seeing that I am also a functional adult.” Danny rolls his eyes and finally caves in, he’s got a soft spot for toddlers, “Fine, me and Timmy split up.” Totally brushing besides the fact that he was the one dumped.

“Sorry.” Steve frowns and looks hard down at his hands again.

“Said it was nothing. We’re good.”

They drive in relative silence till Steve’s back at his house.

=

Back at the office:

“Hey, can’ya do me a favor?” Steve knocks on Danny’s door.

“Depends.” Danny narrows his eyes into slits, his options could range from helping Steve make homemade c-4 to shark wrestling.

“Can you pick up Lt. from the precinct? They’re letting him out today.”

“On good behavior?” Danny chuckles, hey he finds himself funny even if no one else does, “But why can’t you?”

“Can’t, remember the whole truck thing? I wouldn’t really want to impose this on you if I could just do it myself.”

“Just like you didn’t want to impose making me your partner.”

“Never going to let that go, are you? Life will go a whole lot smoother if you just admit you’re happy where you are.” Steve grins that goofy smile that melts everything inside Danny, “Plus I’m having a talk with Catherine over dinner.”

Danny raises an eyebrow and grins, “Sure ‘over dinner’. Is that what you call kitchen sex?”

“Hey! It’s not like that, I’ve been meaning to have a serious talk with her.

…Bout something important.” Steve stops smiling and the room seems less sunny.

“Whatever, whatever,remember me and private? Unlike you I don’t ‘impose’ myself in your private love life.” He waves Steve out.

=

Danny shuffles his weight between his legs on Steve’s beach, the leash is slaked and Lt. Commander is sitting pretty with his tongue out completely happy to sit in the presence of a loved one.

Danny doesn’t feel that he’s merited such trust from the giant sitting the right of him, his sitting height reaching just below his chest, and realizes even more how much the dog must have been abused to open up at the slightest bit of kindness. Danny tousles the dog’s ears with a smile and scratches all the way down his back who now invites petting the area on his rear once abused for disgusting gains. If it weren’t for the goofy expression that eerily matched Steve’s, the dog would be overwhelmingly intimidating. No longer a skeleton with skin hanging off, Steve had fed his canine protégé and kept him on healthy naval workouts; the dog was healthier, happier, and though thought impossible, larger.

Danny continues to wait for his partner while lazily petting the dog beside him looking into the waves. The local children, all tan and bushy haired, run around laughing on Steve’s beach building sand castles and digging a ditch. He knows all too well Steve’s soft spot for children and knows that he’s probably cooked for and looked after these children on his beach and assured them they could use it as their own.

The dog’s shoulder muscles clench and it emits a low growl. Danny flicks his eyes down to investigate the change in behavior. Commander’s legs are bent ready to fight or flee, his ears are upright and his muzzle is scrunched up in snarl. Danny twists his body around to face the dog’s death stare and stops at Steve’s truck. _Wait._ _That’s not Steve’s truck._ The hula girl he’d plastered onto the overtly masculine dashboard to annoy Steve was missing, the license plate was gone, and the police LED’s in the grill were nonexistent.

The driver exits the door and Lt. Commander immediate changes his behavior once again. Trying his hardest to be as small and unnoticeable as possible he tries in vain to hide behind Danny’s proportionally small body. The man is alone, sinister in all black, shades, and a distinct bulge in his pants shows that he’s armed.

“I know you’re not going to like this buddy, go with me and trust my intentions, kay?” Danny flies a quick text to Steve, _Suspicious black truck same model as yours at your beach. Lt. Cmdr on edge, respond asap, I’m going in._

Danny tugs his leash and walks the cowering dog across the beach right into the view of the man scoping over the beach. Danny stops by and bends down to the children’s level and inconspicuously flashes his badge. Somewhere along the words: Steve, partner, danger, and run along home, the children immediately obey. Keeping a solid eye on the children as they leave the other end of the beach, Danny flashes eye contact with the man in black still in Steve’s lot and makes his way towards the very edges of Steve’s property, under the broken down dock near the end of the beach.

Danny sits tight until the man in black finally makes his way under the dock to join him.

“I heard from the animal rescue homes reports that my dog has been found.” The man gives a greasy smile in gratitude.

“This is your dog?”

“Yes sir,” The man steps closer and pulls off his shades his eyes are red and all buggy-blood shot, “Now if you would kindly return him to me right now-”

Danny flashes his badge and holds out a flat hand, “Not so fast buddy, you’re under arrest for drug possession, trafficking, and animal cruelty.”

Danny barely side steps the blur of the man’s shank whizzing past his sides, barely grazing above the kidneys. Danny upholsters his gun but the man round houses it out of his hand before Danny can even raise it. Lt. Commander pounces on the man mauling the wrist of the knife hand and the man screams. He lands a bone crunching kick to ‘mmander’s ribs and the dog yelps flung two feet from the ground. Danny takes advantage of the distraction and grabs the man’s bleeding wrist and twists it painfully behind the criminal’s back. Yanking the armed hand up hard, the man screams and drops his weapon immediately. Danny babbles the mirandas and cuffs the uncooperative druggie.

“Hey! What, you want to make sand castles that bad? You aren’t going anywhere, trust me!” Danny’s phone blares the funeral dirge and Danny groans.

“ _DANNY! WHERE ARE YOU?! You personally volunteered to pick Grace up after dance practice every week and have the nerve to not show up? I’m sending Gregory to pick her-“_

“No! No! I’m on my way already,” Danny lies, “I just had to leave a little late because of something at work.” The man under continues squirming violently and began screaming at the top of his lungs.

“ _What was that? What do you mean something at work?”_

Danny shoves the man’s face into the sand to muffle his screams and tries to switch the subject before it ventures into Rachel’s favorite excuse that he attracts danger to their daughter, “Oh nothing dear, just the radio. See you soon.”

The man under Danny finally gives up and concentrates more on trying to breath with a face shoved in the sand.

“What am I going to do with you?” Danny scans the beach for Steve but still nothing. His eyes stop at the sand castles the children left behind and adopts a smile that if he saw himself he would swear he learnt from Steve.

Danny revs the engine and presses send to his text. “ _I’m fine, taking Lt. Cmder to pick up Grace. B back soon 4 drinks on u. Bring cop car to take suspect to precinct. Hurry, tide’s coming in.”_

Steve runs every red light on the island to get around back to his house and curses that he only has one case of shot gun shells stashed away in the trunk. He bursts out of his truck and sprints onto the beach desperately to find Danny, ignoring the text Danny sent him saying he was fine, and predicted the worst while scanning the strip of beach on his property. Steve hears cries for help and immediately zones in on the source to the left of him.

“HELP ME!!! HE WAS CRAZY!” the man screams, “Just looking for my dog!”

Steve feels a warm wash of relief crash his worries away seeing the perp buried to his neck on the beach. He’s got on a goofy grin imagining Danny burying a criminal in sand when he realizes that _yea, he’s got it bad._

“PLEASE! THE WATER IT’S COMING IN!”

Steve hears the cop car finally catch up and park. Steve turns over and kicks a little sand at the man’s face which makes him scream more.

“Oy! Over here!” Steve shouts at the HPD uniforms and takes a quick picture of the hilarious scene for future blackmail/memories and leaves the officers to unearth the drug dealer.

=

Steve takes a lazy sip out of his cold beer, water condensing all over the crisp glass as he waits on the lanai for his partner. He hears distant barking near the beach and turns his attention to the beach. Danny’s got his shoes in one hand and a stick in another. He throws the stick into the ocean and Lt. sprints into the surf after it. Steve grabs the cold beer he’s been saving for Danny and trots of into the sand.

Danny takes his eyes off the waves and throws a quick grin that makes Steve lose his grasp on words for a second.

“Uh, here.” Steve extends his arm and offers the cold beer.

“Man of few words.” The light seems to be hitting Danny in all the right ways and Steve can’t tear his eyes away from Danny’s moving lips.

“Words, heh.” Steve says dumbly before he knows that he’s blabbering, “I mean. Yea.”

Danny snickers and moves his gaze of to the sunset and swigs his beer which a thoroughly embarrassed Steve is thankful for.

Danny lets out a pealing whistle and whoops for the dog to come back to and stop heckling a flock of seagulls.

“Danny?”

“Hmm?” Danny looks back over his shoulder, eyebrows piqued and beer pressed to his lips.

“I-“ Why the hell was he so nervous? “I was talking to Cat and.”

Danny turns around fully to face Steve, “And?” Danny starts chuckling, finding not so ‘smooth dog’ stumbling over his words. Lt. Commander starts booming over and Danny looks over his shoulder to make sure he doesn’t get body checked by dogzilla.

Steve, slightly annoyed to be ignored when so vulnerable, gets impatient and grabs Danny’s arm. Danny’s posture completely changes, curious at the warm firm grasp holding his forearm.

“Danny-“ It’s too late. Over a hundred pounds of pure canine muscle slams the two into the crashing waves. Danny’s rolling around in a tunnel of roaring water but Steve’s iron grip tethers them together. Steve pulls Danny in as hard as he can before they’re both slammed back onto solid ground. Steve lands hard on his back, his head still dizzy and bonks on the hard sand. Danny follows right after and smashes right on top of Steve’s hard chest with a thud.

Danny coughs up water and sand onto Steve’s wet shirt miserably mumbling something along the lines of _“hate the fucking beach”_. Steve’s face is burning as he feels Danny squirm on top of him, both plastered onto each other. Danny finally pushes up off ground and looks down at Steve, hair pasted to the sides of his face with rogue strands sweeping seductively over his eyes. They pause for a second, hear loud barking, and realize that they’re being sucked back into the waves tumbling like rag dolls in a washing machine. It’s Danny’s hands this time who are firmly planted on Steve’s biceps that keeps them together. Danny hits the ground first and Steve on top of him, their legs entwined in a sandy mess.

Danny winces his eyes and groans as pain shoots from his bad knee up his spine to his throbbing head.

 _Fuck it, and fuck words_. Steve goes in before the next wave, grabs Danny’s face while his eyes are still closed and begins sucking those wry lips that should come with a waiver off Danny’s face.

Danny squirms all wet and bothered up against Steve’s hard body groaning into the kiss and pushes right back.

Steve takes the moment in, inhales through nose sweeping aroma of the beach, sea salt, black coffee, aftershave, _Danny_ and the sea; his two favorite things in the world, right here, and comically both in his mouth. Steve thanks the good Lord that Danny’s on board and pressing back in all the right places, hands roaming over the wet t-shirt clinging to his body like a second skin, Steve moans in encouragement as he fingers through Danny’s hair the way he’d always do in his dreams.

Steve moves his hands down to explore everything he’s tortured himself to only look, not touch. By the time he reaches Danny’s hips, Danny starts shrieking, which scares the shit out of Steve and starts pushing Steve off of him like he’s on fire. Steve opens his eyes terrified at what the partnership he’s probably broken beyond repair, sees the fear in Danny’s eyes and feels his heart shatter into a thousand pieces.

“Stev-!” Danny screams, his eyes not looking at Steve’s but at the wall of water rushing at them. They tumble over each other, grasping in each other’s arms. Steve’s fears melt away as Danny clings his against his body hard through the waves. Time slows and Steve opens his eyes and watches walls of glass slip over on itself around them, ripples of blond locks wisp under his nose; the way Danny screws his eyes shut and presses his head hard into Steve’s chest, Steve knows everything’s going to be okay.

Steve feels his ribs crunch, Danny’s knee digs into his thigh, the wind gets knocked out of him as Danny tumbles on top of him, but Steve can’t stop smiling.

They crawl out of the sea’s reach and Lt. Commander barks happily around them.

“I’m.” Danny’s voice cracks, “So… wet.”

Steve, on his back, looks over at a drenched Danny, slacks and button down clinging to him in every right way and his hair whipped in every direction and chuckles, “You dirty, dirty girl.”

Danny rolls over to get closer and rubs an elbow into Steve’s ribs, “You know it.” He lolls his head onto Steve’s extended arm and stares up at the sky, “So.”

“So?” Steve hums as his hands unconsciously move over Danny’s face, itching to get pace over the wrinkles and defined jaw from day one.

“What about Catherine? You went to see her, ‘bout something,” Danny frowns, “Something important?”

Steve moves his face close to Danny’s, so close he can see every pore, every freckle, every scruffy bit of stubble that has smitten him so hard and whispers, “You’re something important.”

Touched, Danny rolls over halfway on top of Steve’s lying form, “Come here you big goof.”

=

They barely make it to the bedroom, both freezing from the outside shower bumping and grinding till they flop on the bed barely able to catch their breaths.

Steve slows down and takes his time to trail his hand down Danny’s muscled front and hook onto the side of his hips. Danny sucks playfully on Steve’s full lips bringing fresh color into them.

They seem to kiss for eternity, hips rocking into each other, neither making a move or taking initiative and continue sucking on each other’s lips tenderly until twenty minutes of straight vanilla kissing Danny pushes off half annoyed, “Ok. If you’re not going to make a move-“

“Huh? Awah?” Steve’s high as a kite, mind mush, his thoughts clouded with everything Danny.

“How are we going to do this?” Danny straddles Steve’s muscular midriff dangerously close to Steve’s erection trapped in his boxers and his eyes are blown out. He’d never think he would ever be caught so dumbstruck in bed, and he’s no fragile virgin. Danny extends both arms to either side and teeters them up and down like a scale, “What are you?”

“What?” Confused face #1, “What? It’s me Steve.”

“Oh God. Please not a newbie,” Danny rolls his eyes,  “I mean are you a top or a bottom, because I’m fine with either, I’m versatile.”

“Uh-“ Steve takes a hard swallow and he feels sweat start going down the side of his neck, he’s never been this nervous since high school. When Steve kissed Danny he had no idea the Danny would go all the way as to have _sex_ with him and starts to wonder how long Danny must have been wanting this.

“Fine, fine,” Danny sighs and digs around his slacks on the ground left of the bed, “I’ll bottom _this_ time.”

Steve opens his mouth but words never come. He just sits up mouth hanging as Danny looks over his naked shoulder with a condom still in its wrapper in his mouth while he slips his boxers slowly off.

“Danny.” Steve whispers. Steve’s mind has officially checked out, (all the blood he could spare seemed to be going somewhere other than to his head), completely unable to wrap his head around a naked Danny, crawling on all fours back onto his bed, heavy sack dangling, thick flaccid penis lolling back and forth till he was right up against Steve’s rigid body pressing hard up against the head board. He propped himself up nervously with his arms until Danny flushes up all over Steve and rips the condom wrapper.

“You,” Danny licks Steve’s upper lip making Steve shiver, “Need to relax.” Danny shoves his hand down Steve’s boxers and grips Steve’s wet head with sinful pressure.

“Auuh!! DANNY!” Steve’s arms buckle but Danny’s other firm arm holds him up to his chest.

Steve gasps, mouth gaping sucking in air, Danny’s smell from his furred chest, and soaks him in. Closes his eyes and moans in disbelief that this is happening, the way Danny slowly strokes him and pushes him back against the headboard.

“Look’s who’s blushing virgin,” Danny teases holding Steve’s burning face in his hands and coaxes Steve to open his eyes and look at him to confirm this isn’t just a dream, “God I bet you’re just about to come aren’t you? Should we slow down?”

“H-how?” Steve gasps thrusting one last time into Danny’s hand before Danny quickly releases for fear that this moment would be cut short too early.

“Well, first off,” Danny presses his muscular body up against Steve’s and leans in for a kiss, “You can stop trying to choke your bed sheets, and _touch me._ ”

Danny brings Steve’s hands in his and brings them to his sides and like magic they move on their own and Steve starts shoving his tongue into Danny’s parting lips and groans.

Steve’s hands roam over the mountains of thick muscles, kneading Danny’s hard chest and trailing the swirls of hair that outline each one of his abs and thumbing each nipple affectionately. Danny groans in approval and juts his hard erection right into the ridge down the middle of Steve’s abs. Steve moves his hands down and kneads Danny’s perfect ass groaning that it feels twenty thousand times better than he’d imagined in his hands. He grips them hard and spreads them, moves them, massages them and Danny breaks the kiss to moan something disgusting curses into Steve’s ear.

“You ready sailor?” Danny gasps as Steve continues spreading Danny’s ass in his big hands and nearly loses it when Danny’s hand slip on the lubed condom onto his leaking dick. Danny slips one of Steve’s fingers into his mouth and whispers into his ear, “You’re going to have to get me ready. Don’t worry, it’s just like fingering a girl.”

Steve warily slides in his middle finger up into Danny and his stomach lurches at the groan he hears scrape out of Danny’s throat, begging for more. Steve prods in more fingers deeper and strokes the insides of his undulating partner on top of him.

“Fuck Steve, yea, stretch me open, get me ready for your fucking huge dick,” Danny rasps, “SHIT!! FUCK ,YEA STEVE, RIGHT THERE!”

Steve doesn’t know what he does but he presses his two fingers harder into a sensitive spot right behind Danny’s groin and elicits a similar reactions from Danny again.

“Shit Steve, I’m ready,” Danny grimaces as Steve pulls his fingers out a little too fast, “C’mon c’mon c’mon.”

Steve flicks his eyes worriedly from his cock head making contact with Danny’s quivering asshole and Danny’s lust screwed face. He’s done anal with a girl before, and apparently he’d been too big and ended up hurting one of his previous girlfriends and he didn’t want to do anything that Danny would later regret.

“Whats _taking_ you so damn long?” Danny gasps as he sinfully plays with his own nipples and rakes his other hand up and down Steve’s nervous frame.

“Don’t wanna hurt-“

“Don’t flatter yourself, granted you are quite effinly huge, but I’m no rookie. JUST GET IT IN ME” Danny pleads and starts descending himself onto Steve’s pillar. 

Both Danny and Steve let out a pealing scream that shakes the house.

Steve has never felt this kind of pleasure, Danny was so hot, so tight, so much blessed,-so much cursed friction. Steve wasn’t going to last he knew it from the first few inches entering Danny’s clenching hole. He slides in and makes an effort to pinpoint his pistoning hips to guide his cock to hit that special spot in the deep crevice of Danny’s ass.

All Steve can mutter is “FUUUCK FUUCK DANNY!!!!

AUHHG You’re so tight Danny, so fucking good around me!”

Gasping for air, screaming dirty vulgarity like a pornstar, Danny’s moaning his partner’s name egging on such dialog.

Danny slides up and down Steve’s body, letting Steve slide in and out of him while meeting his frantic pace through and through. He feels Steve throb inside his ass and watches Steve’s balls clench and grabs his own bobbing cock and pumps away. He removes his other hand which was kneading Steve’s the slabs of muscles on his chest to wring Steve’s neck in for one last smouldering kiss before he explodes in time with Steve, both parting lips to shout each other’s names. Danny slams his head into the pillow pressing his temple onto Steve’s and rides out both their orgasms on Steve’s dick, bucking and arching his hips, sweat coated shoulders craning up and slamming back down. One last squeeze with his ass and Danny’s taps them both dry.

Danny wipes them down with his shirt, later saying that sex took priority over clothing, and snuggles up to Steve’s still wet chest, planting a light kiss on the lightly haired muscle.

“Wow.” Steve sighs slinging an arm to bring Danny in closer and bring the sweet smell of his hair under his nose.

“One day, we’ll teach you how to talk,” Danny chuckles and wraps a leg around Steve’s, “Until then.” Danny licks over Steve’s soft nipple and it peaks sending shivers down Steve.

“U-until then?”

“You screaming my name will do just fine.” Danny rolls onto of Steve and rests his head on Steve’s collar bone and sucks on the tender skin above it.

“I don’t even remember that.” Steve chuckles.

“Get used to it,” Danny hums sliding his arm down to lace fingers with Steve as sleep creeps behind both their eyes, “Cuz you’re going to have such a streak of amnesia after _I_ fuck your brains out.”

“Can’t wait.” Steve kisses Danny’s forehead below his chin and wraps his arm around Danny to bring him even closer and they both fall asleep.

=

“Gracie get off of’m! I don’t want you hurting him,” Danny warns his daughter, “He needs to look his best for the pictures.”

“C’mon Danno, he could even support two of you.” Steve chuckles and wraps his arms around Danny’s trim waist and tucks his head around Danny’s neck and cheerfully watches Grace ride Lt. Commander’s back like a horse. It’s weird and yet so natural at the same time how Steve seems to lock into place to Danny, from any angle, like two puzzle pieces.

“Hey,” Danny warns the man draping over him, “You’re the one who volunteered _our_ house to celebrate a pet’s graduation.”

Steve’s belly warms when Danny says _our_ , reaffirming the dream Steve’s living, the life where Danny is living with him, loving him, making love to him. _His._

It had been quite lonely without the dog in the house, but once Danny moved in Steve realized it wasn’t so bad after all. It was actually too good to be true.

 _“So why is he so big?” Danny asked quizzically._

 _The chief of the precinct’s canine unit wiped his brow and sighed, “That the first thing we wondered when you brought him here.” The dog barked happily sitting on the ground but it head was still over the table level. “At first thought we thought it was genetic manipulation, but we looked through his blood work and it turns out he’s all natural, just has the biggest of everything in ‘m. We think he was bred for underground dog fighting.”_

 _“Then how did he get into the drug business?” Steve frowned in concern while tousling Lt. Commander’s ears with his big hand._

 _“That was easy enough to figure out, the poor giant doesn’t have the kill drive. He’s a big softee.” The captain beams down at the dog who immediately booms a happy woof, “They probably would have killed him but a wise guy thought sticking nasty things in him would be a good idea.” Bitterness lingered in the air between the three men._

 _“But it’s a good thing for him to be doing this right?” Steve asked concerned, “He getting along with the other dogs?”_

 _Danny smiles absentmindedly how much Steve must care for the dog and how he reminded Danny of raising his own kid and worrying about the smallest details._

 _“Oh yea he’s pretty popular around here. He’s one of the brightest we’ve seen. Plus he’s been around stuff that we’ve probably never seen before and is sensitive to the smell of most mainstream drugs plaguing the area.”_

 _“Good.”_

“Steve?”

“Hmm?”

“I think the food is burning.”

Steve snaps out of his day dream and bolts into the kitchen, “ _Shit!”_

“Uncle STEVE!” Grace shouts.

“Sorry Grace!” Steve smacks himself on the fore head in the kitchen still struggling with the transition as ‘Uncle Steve’.

Steve salvages the surf and turf and places it on the dinner table to see the happy family that barged into his life, rearranged everything he knew about himself, and stole his heart.

“Daddy! Look what ‘Mannder knows how to do!” Grace says emphatically, “Aten hut!”

Lt. Commander sits up rigid, ears pricked in full alert.

“At ease!” The dog relaxes and lops his tongue out while wagging his tail happily, “Hit the deck!” and the dinner plates jump a little as canine-zilla slams into the floor.

“Easy buddy.” Danny chuckles and turns around accusingly at Steve, “Did you teach him all the drill commands?”

Steve raises his hands guilty as charged, “Went through the whole USN book.”

“Strange, strange man.” Danny frowns and god it’s like kryptonite because before Steve can help himself he’s already wrapping his long arms around the shorter man affectionately.

Chin and Kono come on island time as usual proving to Danny that cooking the food right when the party meant hot food when the guests arrived.

Kono fusses over how a dog could have a party for its graduation from academy instead of her, an like the sneaky ninja Steve is, he slipped in ‘and Kono’ in perfect cursive icing on the party’s cake.

The party’s life slows and ebbs, the buzz fades, and the sun sets. Kono and Chin say they’re goodbyes  and Steve cleans up while Danny tries to pry his sleeping daughter from Lieutenant Commander’s protective embrace. Danny finally gives in and lets the behemoth sleep in Grace’s room to its ear-shattering whining from waking Grace up.

Danny joins Steve at the sink and they silently wash dishes together, each with a smile in the corners of their lips, happy to be alive, happy just to be in each other’s company. _Happy._

They slip into bed, nothing silly not with Grace in the house, just in each other’s arms. Danny’s the designated little spoon, and he would kill people before admitting he preferred it. Right before Steve slips into sleep, he stands back to appreciate the sheer amount of luck that it took to land him where he is now. How something so terrible as his father’s death, someone as annoying and loud from Jersey, someone who fit so perfectly with him, down to how they just physically fit together like puzzle pieces, could have landed into his life. Steve doesn’t know it but Danny is doing the same exact thing, thanking his lucky stars that happiness found him when he believed he would never feel its loving embrace again. Thanks whoever sick fuck rules the universe for smashing a 6’2” muscle for brains but heart of gold man into his life. Someone who puts up with his shit in stride, who would open up and let him in before he could even remember how to himself.

Danny turns around half asleep and Steve gives a halfhearted mumble in protest but Danny needs to say thank you to the man who finally made him whole again. He doesn’t need to open his eyes because he knows where everything Steve is, like he’s mapped it out already as if they’ve been together for decades, and lightly kisses his lips across Steve’s which kiss right back. Danny folds his head into Steve’s sturdy chest and feels Steve curl his into Danny’s soft hair and they both drift off together.

=

Steve found it flattering that the island seemed to adopt him and Danny as its favorite couple. Besides the tear stained love letters regarding the travesty of Steve’s sexual preference, the island seemed to go beyond accepting, but rather congratulating. Locals would always wave or honk, cheer and whoop whenever they caught them kissing, or thrust free commodities into their hands. Steve refused every time, but the stubborn islanders refused right back demanding their gifts to be accepted, these were the men who kept their children safe, kept the whole island a place of paradise not corruption.

Steve clicks through the mundane emails regarding logistics while flipping between mahjong and surfing the web. His cellphone pings in his pocket and Steve welcomes the distraction and peers into the text from Kono.

‘ _I thought this one was rather nice, brings out his blue eyes. ‘They’ seem to up the quality of the cameras for him, better not get jealous.’_

Steve scrolls down and a smile rips across his face at the attachment.

“Of course, that walk on the beach.” Steve chuckles to himself.

It’s a picture of Danny, handsome as always, but his blue eyes are blazing with New Jersey fury and his thick hand claws away at the camera, no doubt a poster for the websites.

Websites because it’s plural now. Steve told Danny not to take it too personally, which of course caused a good forty minute rant how he could possibly not take it personally considering there was a new website dedicated to their relationship. Sadly mistaking the power of the internet, Danny’s attempt to war hammer his love life’s privacy spawned the birth of ShitMcGarrettGetsAwayWith’s sister site, AngryAngryDanno, a place dedicated to the wrath of Danny Williams’ against prying photographers and invasive onlookers.

At break Steve puts down his sandwich and feels his phone vibrate.

“What’s wrong babe?” Danny mumbles over his rye noticing confused #2 on Steve’s face.

“Confused.” Steve’s eyebrows are arched in pondering.

“ ‘Bout what boss?” Kono chirps over her salad.

“What’s slash?” Steve frowns.

“Dunno” Danny puts down his sandwich and tries to get a closer look at Steve’s phone.

“Got an update from the website… ‘bout launching something about slash?”

“Click it, see what it is-“

“DON’T!” Kono screams and knocks the phone away.

=

Later in bed Steve can’t help but squirm as Danny seductively rubs his hands over Steve’s ass, because like it or not he’s ticklish there.

“You like what you see?” Steve muses at the strange fascination over his ass tonight.

“So much better than the pictures.” Danny mumbles kissing slowly down the inner thigh and lifting those mile long legs to continue nibbling down Steve’s sculpted ass.

“Why you little voyeur!” Steve gasps as Danny flicks his tongue over his asshole.

“Shhh.” Danny kisses that sweet spot where Steve’s thigh tendon latched onto bone, “You have no idea what great ideas I got from those slashers.”

And the rest of the night was filled with moaning, primal screaming of names, and a shit ton of raunchy steamy sex.

The end.


End file.
